The Past Three Years
by Jakob Kane
Summary: The whole group has had enough of "whatever I'm pullin!" I'm pullin' this group together if you ask me. But when a little girl tells you to stop when you think you're doin' right, she's tellin' ya something. I guarantee it. [Rated M for coarse language]


**A/N - This story is written through Kenny's POV, because I feel there aren't enough that are like this. The events taking place are within Season 2 Episode 5, and does possibly contain minor spoilers. I don't want to say too much here, but please review if you think this story was good, or if you have constructive criticism for future stories I may write. Thank you!**

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><p>"This might not be the best time to bring it up..."<p>

"Omid!"

"Well better now than never, am I right?"

"It's okay, Christa, I understand." Silence filled throughout the room, except for the smashing against the wall. "I think I want Kenny to watch over her."

_I feel like I broke your promise, Lee._

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><p>"This is YOUR fuckin' fault!" I screamed with my veins pulsing out as an uncontrollable fist hit a poor kid's face. I wanted to stop but I couldn't. Balled up, rough hands knocked on the skull of an 18, possibly 19-year-old kid's face. I continued the violence, until a loud, shrieking voice erupted from behind me.<p>

"Kenny. STOP THIS RIGHT NOW." Clementine shouted as everyone stopped what they were doing, and stared at the little girl. "Just. Stop."

I glanced over my shoulder, my expression still filled with anger, but then softened to a look of disbelief. I took note of my surroundings, realized where I was and what I had done. I had assaulted a damn kid. I shot a look at the Russian who was on the floor, with my hands pinned on his shoulders.

With a sigh, my old legs made me rise. "I'm tying this shitbird up."

Saying that along came a hand across my chest. "I think you've done enough", Mike said as he helped Arvo up and walked him over to the other side of the room.

My hand facepalmed across and slowly stroked my beard as I muttered, "Goddammit." I took another look at Clem sitting on the bench as she was gazing a hole into the floor, and an expression of angst and emotion, as perhaps a tear strolled down her cheek.

"GODDAMMIT", I repeated as I kicked the barely structured wall, and stomped into another room of the house, away from all ears. "Why? Just...why?"

I remembered back to the day about 2 and a half years ago when I overheard Lee mention he wanted ME, of all people, to watch over Clementine. Clementine, the little girl who yells at me to quit pounding a kid's brains in. The little girl I'm supposed to be a father-father-father figure to. The little girl who now looks at me and thinks I'm a monster. A monster.

"Is that all I am. Just some monster?" I paced around the room for what seemed like hours, until I did think of Lee, and realized I missed him. I thought of all the people I've lost. Katjaa, Duck, Lee, Sarita, Walter, Matthew- My mind just went off into a state of deep thought, something I feel like I rarely do. "What would Lee say in this situation...?"

"He would say he doesn't have all the answers" , a soothing, small voice said as the last word streamed into my ear. I turned around and saw a little girl named Clementine. "Kenny, I-"

"No, don't apologize. It's my fault, I should've kept that shitty Ruskie in line and made sure he didn't run off like a whimperin' cat", I interrupted with a sorrowful, longing gaze hidden deep into my eyes that I haven't shown for several days, now.

Clementine smiled and a noticeably lighter air spread throughout the small room, until her smile faded into a slight frown. "If anything it was my fault. I could've saved Luke and Bonnie."

"Clem, you know if you cracked that ice, you would've drowned down with them and..." My voice trembled in a way I had to stop and glance somewhere else. My mind had gone through things I had buried away, and I just shoveled them up to find out I've been doing things wrong.

"Do you know what one of the last things Lee told me was?" I asked seemingly out of nowhere.

The small girl stepped out of the doorway and into the room and shook her head. "Christa and Omid would never talk much about what happened when Lee...died."

"He said he wanted me to watch over you." I barely managed to say as I once again looked away. Had I realized what I'd been doing the past week, past month, even the past 3 years, I wouldn't have gotten into this shit and what I am now. "That sonuvabitch wanted ME to watch over you. ME. And look at me now, huh? A hillbilly wreck who punches shits who probably deserves it, but knows better. Hidden away in a ski lodge, not even botherin' to look after ya, tryin' to start a new life in this hell-hole of a planet. ME, Clem, FUCKIN' ME." By this point, I felt like crying, but I didn't. No tears would come out of my one good eye.

Clementine didn't say anything. Not a word. She stood as still as a soldier during boot camp. Suddenly, she took another step forward and gave me a hug. Something I haven't had in a long time...

"Kenny, we all make mistakes, and no, I don't know what you're going through because it's probably all that weird adult stuff. I ignore the people who say you're dangerous and insane because they don't know you like I do. I know you're a caring person, and you'd give anything for the people you love." Clementine paused and she released the hug and looked me at me in a way to know she was sincere as I kneeled down to her eye level. "Remember at the ski lodge? You told me you tried to save Ben, didn't you?"

"That was 2 years ago, Clem. Besides, I'm still as stupid as I was back then."

Clementine gave me a slight punch on the shoulder, "You didn't like him though, but tried saving him anyway. I'm sure you'd do the same for anyone here."

I straightened up a little as I widened my eye, "I ain't savin' that damn Ruskie from walkers, even if he had a million dollars in his pocket."

She gave me a look of disconcern and frowned again as she backed away, "You don't understand. What if it was me?"

I jolted up on my feet and threw my hands in the air as I exclaimed, "You're the only person I have left!"

The chatter from the previous room halted as the house fell into yet again complete silence. Not even the wind could be heard from outside. "Nobody gives a lickin' FUCK about me except you! Honestly, I think you're the only thing keepin' me goin', 'cause all them other shits hearin' our conversation in the other room think I'm such an asshole, they see the shit coming out of my mouth!" I put both of my hands to my face and sighed as I glanced at Clem to find a horrified expression planted on her face. I sighed once again and started, "I ain't doing right by my folks lookin' down at me in heaven, but thing is you give me hope. Clem, you're not just a little girl anymore. You are an adult just like the rest of us. You take after Lee. He was so damn smart I didn't know what the hell he was sayin' sometimes."

"What are you getting at...?" Clementine said shaking her head in confusion.

"I don't even know anymore! I'm losin' it and can't do nothin' about it!" I paused to think about what I was going to say next. "Clem, I ain't doin' right by you..."

"Kenny, worry about me all you want but I can take care of myself. Just like you said, I'm not a little girl. I know you have had probably more crappy days than anybody here, but what would Katjaa want? Duck? Even Lee? He was your best friend! I've known you the longest, and this isn't the Kenny I've gotten to know. Really, what I came in here to tell you was pull yourself together. I need you, because believe it or not, you're sometimes the only one here I trust." Clementine said with her hands behind her back, and her voice trembling. "Please. Just stop."

I closed my eyes and really thought about what she said. I finally felt something I haven't felt from almost everyone I knew: Hope. I don't even know if I'd ever felt it from Katjaa, at least as far as I know, because she always thought of me as a big goof. Even Lee gave me hope when he stood by my side. I don't even think I did right by him, either. I always seemed to shoot him down when all he was trying to do was help, or give some word of wisdom.

"Clem, I'm sorry," I said as I opened my eyes to see myself not where I was before closing my eyes. One of my arms was high in the air, about to strike a 19-year-old kid on the ground who already had broken glasses.

Shocked, I immediately rose and backed up against the wall opposite of me. "Wait, what?"

"Jeez, Kenny, will you calm yourself?!" Mike exclaimed while helping Arvo up. "He doesn't deserve to be pushed to the ground and threatened like that!"

I cleared my throat and apologized, "Uh..yeah. Shit, sorry. I don't know what went over me."

"I'll tell you. You're damn anger problem. Just calm down a little, will ya? We just lost two people, we don't need to lose another by your hand." Mike said with a frown.

I shook my head and glanced at the little girl sitting next to the fireplace, "Thank you."

Clementine shot me a look of bewilderment and replied, "For what?"

"I uh...I don't really know. I just feel like I need to tell you though..." I said with an uncertain tone.

Clementine shrugged and stared at the unlit fire, then spoke up, "These last few days have just been crappy..."

I grinned and hoped to lighten the mood by saying, "The crappiest...but I gotta make the most of them."

Mike stood up with a look of disbelief, "What suddenly made you so philosophical?"

I shook my head and replied with, "The past 3 years."


End file.
